- Home
- J , Louise
Release Page 14
Release Read online
Page 14
The last stop is the office. There’s a small window at the back of the room, so natural light is minimized, but it isn’t dark and dingy. A long desk against the far wall with a computer and paper work on it, a slanted drawing board with nothing on it, and shelves with paperwork, manuals and motorcycle magazines. It’s all so appropriate for the type of business this is.
Once inside, Dane closes the door behind us. Now I see that gaze of his; determined, alluring. It’s sexy and it hits me right between the legs, making me want to run from him and to him at the same time. He backs me up to the door, at which point he locks it, and kisses me once on the lips. “Nice dress,” he says, pressing against me, and, oh yeah, he’s hard. I’m definitely wet.
“Somebody doesn’t mind mixing business with pleasure?” I look into golden brown with flashes of green.
“Not with you.” He starts kissing me before I can respond. I’ve been without this man’s kiss for two whole, long days. I eagerly take and give back. Dane raises my right leg, hooking it over his hip.
A deep, male voice calls his name. That’s instantly followed up with, “Joe and Adam are here.”
“Fuck, I forgot they were coming to see the chopper. You’re a distraction, Brooklyn. I might need to forbid you from coming here.” I smile at his words, as he looks down at his fly. “Shit,” he says, in response to his evident arousal. I chuckle, covering my mouth with my hand. “Funny?” he asks, grinning. I nod. “We’ll have to wait a minute.”
He lowers my leg and backs off. I decide to tease him, so, after correcting the hem of my dress, place my hand against his erection, which is now coming down.
His fierce gaze claims mine. “I will fuck you here, Brooklyn. Right now.” He means it, so I break contact, though I’m still humored.
When it’s appropriate, Dane takes me by the hand and we leave the office. There’s quite a gathering in the workshop now. Two men are looking at the chopper and discussing it with Eric and Malachi. I recognize Adam immediately, from that first night of the show, but this is the first time I’ve properly seen Joe. The other time was from afar on Baker Beach.
The brothers look alike, although, Joe is around two inches taller and clean shaven, unlike Adam who favors a short, well kept beard. Joe’s black hair is shorter, but the front frames his face, ending just shy of cheekbone length. Adam’s hair is almost as long as mine, but a slightly lighter brown. Adam is the only one who has color to his tattoos. Dane and Joe obviously prefer black alone. They look at their friend and then smile at me.
Saffron seems to appear out of nowhere and struts towards us cheerfully. “Hi,” she says, pulling me into a hug. She’s a tiny thing, but with the force of her embrace she’s certainly no weakling. She has a lovely toned figure, which explains her strength, and a really pretty face. “It’s nice to see you again, Brooklyn.”
We’ve only met once, the night of the show. I know she and Ella are good friends, so I feel more acquainted with her because of that. “It’s good to see you again, too.” I grin.
She takes charge at this point and introduces me to her husband and his brother.
I feel a bit of a ‘Plain Jane’ compared to Dane and his friends. They’re all, including Saffron – who has Nathaniel in delicate writing inscribed on the back of her neck and the ends of her jaw-length bob dyed red – visually attention-grabbing and cool.
Adam is extra everything. The color to his body art makes them and him stand out more and the beard and long hair adds a rougher edge to his style. Unlike Dane and Joe, the side of his neck is also inked and he even has small earplug piercings in each ear. He’s gorgeous, with a medium build and nice muscle definition.
You could say Joe, who I’ve just learned also gets involved in some of the work with the designs for customizations, is a gentler version, but that comes more from his friendly brown eyes. His size and muscular build and the tats semi-contradict the suggestion of gentle. It’s an interesting combination. I love that one arm is covered in angels, so detailed and beautiful.
Saffron and I stand by the shop entrance, chatting whilst the men talk motorcycles.
“So you guys are taking Release to L.A. in September,” she says, smiling. “You must be super stoked.”
“Yeah, I can’t wait. I love L.A.”
“Oh, of course, All about the Dance was filmed there, right?”
“Yep.” I beam. Even though things ended badly for me there, I still look back on the time fondly.
“It’s totally weird to be standing here speaking with you when I watched you on TV. You and Owen were my favorite, and I especially loved your Samba and Tango numbers. They were so sexy and seductive, and you looked super hot in your costumes. I was devastated for you when you left. I couldn’t believe it when Kayla told me you both were friends. This is so freaking awesome.”
“I know, funny how things turn out. It’s because of her that I’m here now. It’s been great teaming up with Owen again and working closely with Kayla and Ella.”
“You’ve got like three years on your visa, right?”
We end up discussing me working here.
Saffron’s likeable, forthcoming and she seems easy to be around. I feel slightly nervous and hope that she likes me beyond being one-half of her favorite two-some on All about the Dance. She’s important to Dane, so this is the equivalent of hoping your boyfriend’s parents will like you.
Once the guys finish lusting over the bike, Saffron suggests we go for a drink. I’ve still got a few hours free, so agree.
At the place of choice, we purchase our drinks and sit in a semi-circular booth at the far end, by the window. I sit between Dane and his sister. Adam and Joe are on the other side of Saffron. Adam asks me about London and we all fall into conversation based around that. His version of a Londoner’s accent is quite impressive.
“You sound proper posh. You could be a member of The Royal Family talking like that,” I tell him.
“What’s with all the “proper?”” he asks in his own accent. “You’ve said it like ten times.”
“If you’re in certain regions of the UK, definitely London, you’re guaranteed to encounter people who add it to everything, it’s used for emphasis. Proper hot, proper funny, proper hanging – as in hungover. Although, the Queen and Co won’t rock up and refer to something as “proper wicked!””.
Adams lips curve wide, he looks intrigued. “Wife, we’re going to London,” he says to Saffron.
“Awesome. I wanna see Buckingham Palace,” she says.
I’m enjoying myself until Gerard walks in. My loyalty is with Kayla and that shall remain, but Gerard is Dane’s friend. I knew I’d be seeing him again at some point, but I’m not quite ready today. I’m not sure how to be with him; I can’t ignore him, but I’m hardly going to hug him and chat with him.
Saffron glances at me and smiles. I return the gesture in appreciation.
Gerard sits down at the end of the booth, beside Dane, and looks at me. “Hello, Brooklyn.”
His greeting is strangely warm and somehow it feels like he knows I’m uncertain and he’s taking this into consideration.
I wouldn’t have thought him the considerate type, given his appalling treatment of Kayla and no doubt many other women. If this wasn’t Gerard, I’d appreciate the sentiments, but it is and he royally screwed over my friend. I say, “Hi,” to be polite, even managing a smile.
The conversation resumes and the chopper becomes the topic of focus. I’m glad because it means I can listen without offering any input.
It’s interesting seeing the four guys together and, taking my bias out of the equation, you can throw Gerard and his good looks into the mix of hotness. With him here I don’t feel as ‘Plain Jane’. He’s practically the male equivalent of me, not a tat or piercing in sight. He’s dressed more casually today as well. I didn’t get a good look, but I know he has on pale blue jeans and a fitted dark blue T-shirt, which displays his muscular form well.
Personal feelings aside, I
think it’s nice that these five have all been close since childhood, and it’s obvious they share a history in the natural way they interact.
After a short time, I get that feeling – the feeling that I’m being watched. My gaze wanders across the bar and gets caught.
At a table over by the door sit two women. They’re talking to each other, but one of them keeps glancing over at our booth. This wouldn’t usually bother me; I people watch all the time, I like to observe others. In this case – the case of the pretty woman with what looks like dark blue eyes, from here, and jet-black, straight hair that ends just below her shoulders – there’s a difference.
She’s specifically focusing on Dane and me and she’s looking at us with purpose.
When her gaze meets mine, she holds it for enough seconds to confirm something. That woman knows the man sitting beside me and it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out how. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s looked into her eyes for a lot longer than I just did.
She’s attractive, with a lovely figure, and to be honest, she’d fit in well with Dane and Co, if going by appearances alone. She has her upper lip and left eyebrow pierced and tattoos down her arms and on her shoulder blades. Observing her, I can’t help but wonder why Dane didn’t want more with someone like her.
Does he know she’s there? Surely he does, her position is obvious. It wouldn’t surprise me if she sat there intentionally. Between Gerard’s presence and her now, I don’t need to be here.
I lean into Dane and discretely say, “I need to get going.”
He looks at me, gently squeezing my thigh. This is an acceptable excuse; I do have a show tonight. I could stay for a little longer, but I don’t want to. It’s a shame to cut this time short. With the exception of one, I do want to get to know Dane’s friends and his sister. So far, I really like them.
Dane explains to the others he’ll be back after walking me home. Gerard slides along the seat and exits the booth so that we can. Saffron hugs me before I get out. I say goodbye to them all, and Dane takes me by the hand and heads for the door.
We pass the other lady, who’s doing well at acting like she hasn’t seen us. Dane doesn’t acknowledge her, but it’s impossible for him not to have seen her by now.
I slide my sunglasses down over my eyes and succumb to thought as we walk in the direction of my apartment. It’s strange. Suddenly I’m curious about Dane’s lifestyle before me. I’ve given his past and the women who were a part of it none of my attention, us in the now is all I care about, but I suppose it puts things into perspective when you see evidence of it.
What was so wrong with her, and what is so right with me? I can’t believe I’m even questioning this, but I can’t help it.
What will people think when they see us together? At one week into our relationship, this is still new so we’ve had little exposure, but what will people think as Dane and I become common knowledge? What did the lady in the bar think? I hate the idea of people thinking Poor her, does she know what she’s getting herself into? or What is she doing with him? Doesn’t she realize it will never last?
I might be like the lady in the bar in a couple of weeks.
Am I humiliating myself by being with him?
Dane gently squeezes my hand. “You okay?” he asks, glancing at me.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lie. I’m not sharing my thoughts with him. They’re mine, for only me.
He curls his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side, and I slip mine around his waist. Now this is irritating and difficult. I adore the feel of his firm, muscular torso encased by my arm and I can smell his faint cologne. Even better, but more torturous in this frame of mind, I’m aware of the scent beneath the artificial fragrance, the one Dane owns, the one that makes me feel comforted and good. I don’t know why, but it does, and I’ve missed not going to sleep and waking up surrounded by it. I went straight home on Thursday night and last night from the theater. We spoke before sleeping, but today is the first time we’ve seen each other since Thursday morning.
The way Dane’s holding me says he wants me close, but I’ve still got her in the bar in my head and the word ‘why?’
We arrive outside the main door to my place, and it hits me that Dane is going back to the guys and Saffron – back to the same bar with her. Great, I really needed something else to add to my questioning. Will he talk to her when I’m not there? Was it because of me that he walked past her like he didn’t know her? It would absolutely burn me if a guy I’d been with did that to me.
It would more than burn me if Dane did that to me.
Standing in front of me, with his hands on my hips, Dane pulls me up against him. “Tell me what’s on your mind?” He slides my glasses up onto my head.
“Nothing.” He stares into my eyes, silently, waiting. “I really am fine, just thinking about tonight’s show. You should get back to the others.” I put on my best smile, which is a skill I’m quite good at.
Dane kisses me, and my thoughts and sudden concerns seem to slip away. I respond and deep inside I feel desperate.
I want him. All of him.
Being near Dane, touching him and breathing him in makes it impossible for me to desire anything but being with him. I need some distance so I can think. I need to get rid of these things on my mind.
When we stop kissing, I don’t want to let go. I want to ask him to stay. I want to cling to him like my life depends on it. But that’s not okay, so I need him to go.
Before he turns to walk away, he hugs me tight and in his usual way squeezes me before letting go.
As I enter the building, I wonder if the hug I believed was meant for only me has been dished out to many other women. Including her in the bar.
Twenty Three: Brooklyn
After the show I turned off my mobile phone and came straight home. I was supposed to go to Dane’s, but I can’t deal with my head in his presence. Irrespective of what I feel for him, I have to decide if I should get out of this relationship whilst I still can. I’m not usually a paranoid, self-doubting woman who lacks self-esteem to the point that I question why a man wants to be with me, so I need to determine if it’s healthy for me to be with Dane. I’ve never been the jealous type, I hate it, and I don’t want to go down that ugly road.
Something else that strengthens my resolve to seriously reconsider my involvement with Dane is that I feel too much too soon and, as far as I’m concerned, it puts me at a disadvantage, less in control.
Maybe I should get out whilst I still can.
Once I’m changed for bed, even though all I want to do is bury myself under my duvet, I go to speak to Kayla about seeing Gerard. She still seems to get quite upset about him, so I chose not to do this before the show. I don’t want to upset her further by asking, so I won’t, but I do wonder exactly how deep her feelings went for him.
I knock on her door and peep into the room. She’s already in bed, but awake with her side light still on. “Can I speak to you quickly before you go to sleep?”
“Sure, come on in,” she says, patting the bed for me to join her.
I sit leaning back against the headboard. “I just thought you should know I saw Gerard today. Saffron, Adam and Joe came to the shop when I was there and we all went to a bar. Whilst we were there Gerard showed up.”
Her expression as she looks up at me is soft, which I didn’t expect. “I knew you’d see him again eventually. You don’t need to worry if that’s what’s been bugging you all night. Our friendship is separate from your relationship with Dane, and Gerard has nothing to do with us whatsoever.” Her voice was as gentle as her expression.
“Yeah, I know. It was awkward. We only said hello to each other. I don’t see us ever having an actual conversation.”
“I still can’t believe you and Dane are together.”
“I know, I keep thinking that as well. I saw someone today who I think he had a thing with. She was gorgeous. Do you know many of the women he’s been with?”
“I know some in a friend of a friend way, but Dane and I don’t really associate with the same people beyond his sister and the mutual friends she and I have.”
“Are they attractive?”
“Not smokin’ like you,” she says, and I smile at her sweet compliment, which is of course going to be bias. “Are you worried about him being faithful?”
“No. If that was the case I could easily tell him to get lost. I even think he’d end it with me if he wanted someone else. That’s the type of person he is. This might sound silly, but I keep wondering why he wants to be with me when there’ve been so many others. There must’ve been good things about some of them.”
“There’s obviously something unique about you that attracts him on a deeper level. It would’ve been physical for him at first, it is for most of us, and then the person you are made him yours. He connects with you in ways he hasn’t with all those other women.” She raises her shoulders in a casual shrug.
I slide down to lie beside her and turn onto my side with my arm folded under my head. Kayla positions herself on her side as well, facing me. I’m in two minds whether to be open about my feelings for Dane. Part of me wants to pretend they don’t exist to the degree that they do.
Kayla smiles sweetly. “So you like him a lot, huh?”
“Yeah, I do, but after earlier I can’t help wondering why he wants me. I didn’t realize until today how scared of getting hurt I am, and I wonder if it’s inevitable with him.”
“If I’d been through what you have, I’d be scared too. I admire you for moving on with your life, you’re doing great, but maybe you’re not emotionally ready for a relationship yet?”
“What I want is to be enough for him, Kayla. I just don’t know if I am or can be.”
Reaching forward, she tucks my hair behind my ear and sighs thoughtfully. “Dane’s your man. How many of those others could say that? You are enough and more, missy. Please don’t think like that.”